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McCain: I’m No Bush Echo

Image has not been found. URL: /wp-content/uploads/2008/09/bush-mccain.jpgSen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and President George W. Bush (AP Photo)

An angry Sen. John McCain masterfully detached himself from the deeply unpopular President George W. Bush and his policies today during a press conference. It was packed with solid proof that McCain is his own man, with his own agenda, going into the November general election.

“I wear an entirely different brand of cowboy boot,” McCain revealed. “I wear a different size, with totally different leather carving motifs. My S.U.V. burns 12 percent more fuel than the president’s. We have never ordered the same movie from Netflix. I was a Navy man and he was in the Air Force Reserve. I don’t know how I can make it any clearer that John McCain blazes his own trail — in life and in politics.”

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Jaundiced_i_large.jpg

Nudged by constant companion and adviser Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman, McCain quickly added, “And I’m reminded that I live in Arizona, which is nowhere near – well, pretty far away as the crow flies from – Texas.”

Reporters had barely scribbled down these facts before the senator launched a further storm of evidence of his independence from Bush and the current administration.

“Our president has delivered eight State of the Union messages and I have delivered none,” McCain asserted. “Unlike myself, he has met the premier of Iceland and owns three chain saws. He cannot pronounce ‘Myanmar,’ and I can. ‘Myanmar.’

“Perhaps most telling of all in the sharp differences between us,” McCain continued, “President Bush is an abstainer, while I’ll take the occasional drink or two on purely social occasions — like when I’m holed up in a hotel room on the campaign trail sleepless at 3 a.m.”

A White House aide to the president quickly confirmed the gist of McCain’s contention, while adding a further example of their fundamental differences. “President Bush sends his wife to hot spots like Afghanistan,” he noted, “and Sen. McCain only sends his wife to the bank.”

**

Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”

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