Putin to the Rescue
Image has not been found. URL: http://www.washingtonindependent.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/putincrop-300x200.jpgVladimir Putin (Department of Defense photo by Cherie A. Thurlby)
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, who recently saved a TV crew from certain death by dart-gunning a charging white Siberian tiger in the nick of time, had no sooner returned to Moscow than the suspension bridge that his limousine was driving under began to collapse.
Though no longer president, the still quick-witted so-called “Man of Russian Iron, Tungsten and Assorted Other Ferrous Minerals” lept from the vehicle and held up the bridge’s main truss until emergency crews could arrive to make a more permanent fix.
Putin was just brushing the dust off his suit after that incident when Muscovites began fleeing the metropolis in panic over a huge meteorite hurtling toward the city center from outer space.
Image has not been found. URL: http://www.washingtonindependent.com.php5-9.websitetestlink.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/jaundiced_i_medium.jpgSprinting into Red Square, the ex-civil servant waved everyone back and braced himself. Moments later, the meteorite landed in the firm grip of his two hands “like a baby on a pillow,” as a totally independent and unbiased reporter paid to follow Putin around explained.
Kidded by his pals as gruff, tough, humorless and ruthless, Putin has lately revealed not only a superhuman but a more human side. This has been evident not only by random acts of heroism, like those described above, but also by being seen to eat food and knowing the difference between a dog and a cat.
However, he has never been seen lying down.
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”