Chuck Norris Is Afraid
The martial arts star goes to the slush pile for his new column, reprinting all of an open letter to the president from Lou Pritchett and appending his own concerns. Pritchett’s letter is, by some distance, the stranger of the two.
You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.
You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America, and culturally you are not an American.
Norris, of course, joined the Air Force at age 18 and spent his early adulthood in South Korea, and he pays for his current lifestyle by selling the Total Gym. So no one doubts his American-ness.