McCain’s Not Fielding Questions, But if He Were…

HARRISBURG, Pa.–Over the course of this campaign, I and my colleague Matt Delong have detailed the growing inaccessibility of John McCain to the press. The once affable, boyish, and most importantly AVAILABLE straight talker, has, in recent months closed ranks, shunning the national press, who’ve put anything resembling a normal life aside to follow him and his quest for the presidency.

Thus, our big-cheese editor suggested a new series here on the Streak that basically can be labeled "Things we’d ask McCain if he ever held a press conference ever again." The first question has to do with the trade of slugger Adam Dunn from my beloved last-place Cincinnati Reds to the senator’s team, the Arizona Diamondbacks, a team with a very good shot at the National League pennant. During his tenure Dunn, a former college quarterback at the University of Texas has been the definition of a hoss — tied for the major league home run lead this year, and second only to Alex Rodriguez in homers from 2004 to 2008. At the same time he strikes out more times than one would think humanly possible. Thus my question for the presumed Republican presidential nominee would be, "Forgetting the fact that the Russians are in danger of reigniting another war in Europe, and at the very least restarting the Cold War, do you still support the Diamondbacks trading for Dunn, despite the fact that he plays terrible defense, can never bring the runner from home with a sacrifice fly and is just as likely to strike out each time at the plate as he is to hit a home run? Further Senator, should the D-Backs sign him at the end of the year?"

Suggestions for further questions will be appreciated and considered. And if you’re reading, Adam, no hard feelings. I only yelled those things at you out of tough love. Farewell sweet prince….