Half of the members of Congress are millionaires.

Bristol Palin and The Situation teach kids about safe sex…

…and Palin’s fans rig the Dancing With the Stars voting system.

Salon ranks the sexiest men of 2010.

50 Cent’s “In Da Club” gets translated into English.

Lieberman thinks Palin is qualified to live near him, if not be president.

You can download the new Girl Talk album for free.

Dennis Kucinich doesn’t trust Darrell Issa on oversight.

Kal Penn returns to his White House gig after filming “A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas.”

Some British people apparently got engaged.

The Daily Show mocks McCain on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Louie Gohmert argues for a government shutdown.

Janet Napolitano defends full-body scanners.

An anti-”Obamacare” Republican demands his government-subsidized health care.

Bobby Jindal says he won’t run for president in 2012…

…and Sarah Palin describes her ideal 2012 GOP candidate.

Obama’s children’s book comes out today.

Facebook kills Gmail (maybe) with a new email service.

John McCain finds a new reason to oppose repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” …

…and Cindy McCain supports his position, despite what she said in that commercial.

Bill Clinton films a cameo in The Hangover 2.

Gawker rounds up the best moments from Sarah Palin’s new show.

Obama plans to switch his Davids — Plouffe for Axelrod — by spring.

Scientists propose one-way trips to Mars.

Rick Perry wants Texas to opt out of Medicaid.

Chuck Schumer wants an investigation on reusable bags.

Nancy Pelosi demands perfection from Obama.

The Tea Party helps Bristol Palin stay on Dancing with the Stars.

A Tennessee GOP representative compares illegal immigrants to rats.

Everyone rushes to buy Four Loko in Washington before a ban takes effect.

Some Democrats want Olymia Snowe to switch parties.

Sarah Palin claims Obama is the “most pro-abortion president” ever.

Newsweek and the Daily Beast might merge after all.

George W. Bush forgives Kanye West and says he’s “not a hater“…

…and Stewart and Colbert try to lure him to their shows with McRibs…

…while Michael Moore offers NBC Fahrenheit 9/11 for free to balance Bush interviews.

A Beardtracker app comes out during No Shave November.

More whales are getting sunburns.

Bloggingheads.tv celebrates its five-year anniversary.

Bill O’Reilly jokes about beheading Dana Milbank; Milbank isn’t amused.

Susan Collins doubts that Sarah Palin will run for president.

A homeless man asks out Oprah and gets $100.

Hillary Clinton is “an eater of chips” — just probably not deadly ones.

British officials create a smartphone app that tests for STDs.

Sarah Palin attempts to school an economy reporter about economics.

Nicaraguan troops invade Costa Rica based on a Google Maps error.

Darrell Issa wants to hold seven hearings per week.

Charlie Crist considers a posthumous pardon for Jim Morrison.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says “no one cares if you smoke a joint or not.”

American grizzly bears are becoming fatter and lazier.

Bobby Jindal criticizes politicians who cheat — but not Gingrich and Vitter.

Andrew Cuomo makes his employees cry.

A professor loses 27 pounds by eating mostly Twinkies.

Dick Cheney got angry with Bush for not pardoning Scooter Libby.

Hillary Clinton compliments a New Zealand mayor for his “bling.”

Robert Gates wants Congress to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” right away.

A DNC member says the White House “couldn’t sell cocaine to Charlie Sheen.”

Robert Gibbs fights for the press corps.

Liberal media outlets are still mad at Stewart for the Rally for Sanity.

The Michigan official who ran an attack blog against a gay student gets suspended.

Peggy Noonan calls Sarah Palin a “nincompoop.”

Nancy Pelosi might try to be minority leader.

Former Wikileaks staffers are launching a competing site.

Stephen Colbert wonders if Joe Miller is Spider-Man.

Glenn Beck worries (menacingly) about Obama getting beheaded.

Outdated beauty advice mostly just explains how you’re fat.

Republicans are outraged about the fictional cost of Obama’s trip.

A Chilean miner breaks into an Elvis impression on TV.

…and Kanye West sympathizes with Bush about being called a racist.

Bush says he authorized waterboarding — and would do it again.

McConnell makes his case for ousting Obama.

All 95 House and Senate candidates who supported net neutrality lost on Tuesday.

A British dating site “for ugly people” produces its first engagement.

Lisa Murkowski says she’s poised “to make history.”

Stephen Colbert laments the loss of would-be Sen. Sharron Angle.

The prince of Brunei worries about juries seeing his erotic sculptures.

Sarah Palin wants to be like Ronald Reagan.

Bush says the “worst moment” of his presidency was an insult from Kanye West.

Lion cubs learn how to swim at the National Zoo.

Christine O’Donnell blames the GOP for her loss in Delaware.

The Daily Show decides “maybe we can’t.”

Brooklyn designers make clothes out of the skin of giant rats.

Michele Bachmann might run to replace Pence when he quits his leadership position…

…and Chris Matthews asks Bachmann if she’s in a trance.

Iowa votes out the three justices who allowed gay marriage.