“Doron Ofir Casting, in association with a major cable network, is looking for young hot politicos who care about America, follow the heated debates, rallies, protests, and scandals!” a release sent to press today reports. “We are looking for people of all party affliliations [sic] or those who are unaffliated [sic] as long as you’re outspoken, fearless, free thinking, unbound, unleashed, unrestrained, appear to be between 21-35 and are politically active and telegenic. WE WANT YOU!”

The translation that no one needs made: “We’re looking for sexy narcissists who aren’t afraid to drink too much and act horribly on television. Think Snooki and Anthony Weiner.”

Seriously, maybe staring into the horrific funhouse mirror that is reality TV will turn our politics around. Why not?

The release:

DORON OFIR CASTING LAUNCHES THE CASTING CALL FOR THE HOTTEST POLITICOS IN THE USA!

LOS ANGELES, CA (October 24, 2011) – Doron Ofir Casting, the epic star making company behind Jersey Shore, Nashville Star, Millionaire Matchmaker and The A-List officially confirms and announces the nationwide search for political activists with personalities that rally behind a cause and influence others to do the same.

“It’s about time we give a mainstream media opportunity to the generation that has the fortitude to proudly live as a representative of their individual politial beliefs. What could be more American than that?” Doron Ofir – Executive Casting Director.

Doron Ofir Casting, in association with a major cable network, is looking for young hot politicos who care about America, follow the heated debates, rallies, protests, and scandals! We are looking for people of all party affliliations or those who are unaffliated as long as you’re outspoken, fearless, free thinking, unbound, unleashed, unrestrained, appear to be between 21-35 and are politically active and telegenic. WE WANT YOU!

You’ve volunteered for a local political campaign, stood in protest, logged over a thousand comments on blogs, tweeted Fox News or CNN on a daily basis, you run your own blog, vlog, stream, podcast, and are still looking for the right forum to express yourself. Whatever the case, we want to hear from you!

With personalities such as Ann Coulter, Bill Maher, Meghan McCain, Rachael Maddow, Keith Olberman, Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart, Arianna Huffington, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly influencing the world of politics and dictating our national conversation, shouldn’t it be your turn?

Register online on the digital application: www.partypoliticscasting.com

Got a tip? Story pitch? Send us an e-mail. Follow The Colorado Independent on Twitter.

UPDATE: May 3, 10:47 a.m. EST: This article was amended with a clarification, noted below.

Anti-abortion rights marketing group Heroic Media is expanding domestically and internationally, officials said Saturday during an “inaugural District of Columbia benefit dinner,” held in Bethesda, Md. – part of an effort to raise money for anti-abortion advertising in the Northeast this spring.

Sarah Palin headlined the $250-a-plate dinner and proudly told a dining room of about 300 people that given the opportunity to attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner or the Heroic Media fundraiser, she “chose life.”

Palin noted that her daughter Bristol attended the correspondents’ dinner and was counseled to “grit her teeth” upon hearing any Palin jokes; though she failed to mention that she would be heading to the Vanity Fair/Bloomberg White House Correspondents’ Association afterparty shortly after leaving the fundraiser.

At previous Heroic Media fundraisers, including those that Palin has headlined, emphasis has sometimes centered on abortion providers supposedly targeting the African-American community. Last week, Heroic Media and affiliate Life Always were sued by the mother of a young African-American girl featured on billboards with the slogan “The most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.”

But on Saturday, African-Americans were absent from any rhetoric. Instead, the evening’s main themes focused on the “heroic choice” to mother and on the disproportionately high rates of abortions for babies pre-diagnosed with disabilities.

During her 45-minute speech, Palin focused on the difficult decision women are faced with upon learning of unplanned pregnancies. Based on her experiences becoming pregnant unexpectedly early after being elected governor of Alaska, closely followed by Bristol’s unexpected pregnancy at 17, Palin said she now can empathize with women who become pregnant in “less than ideal circumstances.” She said she can understand how, “even for a split second” a woman might consider having an abortion. And as is her habit at Heroic Media events, Palin spoke of her son Trig, who has Down syndrome, claiming that 85 to 90 percent of babies expected to be born with Down syndrome are aborted. Her message to women facing similar “less than ideal” circumstances was to “hang in there.”

Palin spoke candidly about her family’s experiences with pregnancies (“Bristol was a good kid … she was always busy working, well not always busy working, obviously”) to her audience of supporters, which included tea partiers and several members from the organization Jewish Americans for Sarah Palin. As The Florida Independent pointed out last week, the event was marketed to the group as a “kosher shabbaton” with no mention of the event’s focus on abortion (to participate in the full shabbaton, which included four “gourmet” kosher meals, two nights at the Bethesda North Marriott and a quorum of 10 male Jewish adults, the cost was $650). JASP’s Rabbi Robert Shechter gave the closing prayer.

The Jews for Sarah ad included slogans such as “Take back the government!,” “U.S.-Israel alliance!” and No more pork!” but Palin mostly steered clear of politics, save for a few jabs at “politicos” in D.C. and a lament that despite all the hype of a government shutdown leading up to the finalization of the 2011 federal budget, the federal government was still conducting “business as usual.” She did commend recent state efforts to defund Planned Parenthood and said the focus should be directed toward eliminating all federal funding to the organization.

Palin praised Heroic Media for its approach to campaigning against abortion, saying that the key to changing the culture is by “infiltrating pop culture” (she said Bristol’s participation with “Dancing With the Stars” was an example of this). She then presented anti-abortion rights activist and Live Action founder Lila Rose with Heroic Media’s “Hero” award, calling Rose the face of the youth-led anti-abortion movement and praised her infamous undercover sting video against Planned Parenthood.

Rose gave a brief acceptance speech, commending Heroic Media’s work and saying she would continue her dedication to defending life.

As diners feasted on steak and asparagus, examples of Heroic Media’s Internet ads were displayed on big screens. Communication director Kimberly Guidry Speirs claimed the organization’s advertisements have led to a 20-percent drop in the ratio* of abortions (the number of abortions for every 1,000 births) in markets where billboard and TV ads are displayed. Speirs announced that the group is continually expanding and currently has five locations throughout the country and one in South America.

For 13 weeks this spring, she said, Heroic Media will air its television ad “Teen Angst” on cable channels including BET and MTV. The marketing, she explained, is precisely designed to target women between the ages of 18 and 34 with advertising that speaks to them. In the “Teen Angst” ad, a young blonde is lamenting that her boyfriend is pressuring her to have an abortion, saying, “Don’t I get to choose for myself, for the baby? Don’t I?”

Allen Hunt, the night’s master of ceremonies, called on supporters to donate to the organization to raise $227,000 for the Northeastern campaign, as did Heroic Media President Chris Joliat. Each table featured a bag filled with donation cards and blue pens. Those who might be wont to go home and pray on whether or not to give money were encouraged to talk to one of the ministers in the audience, and then donate.

Among sponsors for the event listed in the program were News/Talk630 WMAL ($15,000); Tea Party Review magazine ($10,000); Austin Baptist Association ($2,500); WRC 1260-AM “Intelligent Talk” ($1,000); Arlington Catholic Herald, Birthmothers Ministries, Inc. ($500), and Bayard Magazine Group (gifts in kind). Among individuals called to stand for their contribution and support to Heroic Media included the Rev. Dean Nelson, vice president of Underserved Outreach at Care Net, one of the nation’s largest networks of crisis pregnancy centers.

Due to a clause in Palin’s contract, this event was closed to the press, but The American Independent purchased a ticket to attend.

*Correction: We previously reported that Heroic Media claimed a 20-percent drop in the rate of abortions — they claimed to a drop in the ratio of abortions (the number of abortions for every 1,000 births). We regret the error.

…and Rep. Anthony Weiner is still angry.

July was the deadliest month of the war in Afghanistan for the U.S.

People try to get really strange things through airport security.

The N.Y. aide who wrote a memo on “Jewish money” gets the ax.

Arizona’s immigration law is OK, if your kids “don’t look Hispanic.”

Most Pakistanis don’t know drones strikes exist.

Tea Party Patriots are glad Mark Williams is a racist.

Bristol Palin might be getting a step-daughter.

Ahead, on my right, I saw the Alaska Right to Life (RTL) booth, where a poster caught my eye, taking my breath away. It featured the sweetest baby girl swathed in pink, pretend angel wings fastened to her soft shoulders.

“That’s you, baby,” I whispered to Piper, as I have every year since she smiled for the picture as an infant. She popped another cloud of cotton candy into her mouth and looked nonchalant: Still the pro-life poster child at the State Fair. Ho-hum.

Well, I still thought it was a nice shot, as I did every time I saw it on its advertisements and fund-raiser tickets. It reminded me of the preciousness of life.

It also reminded me of how impatient I am with politics.

A staunch advocate of every child’s right to be born, I was pro-life enough for the grassroots RTL folks to adopt Piper as their poster child, but I wasn’t politically connected enough for the state GOP machine to allow the organization to endorse me in early campaigns.

Time and again, Palin uses her large family for political purposes, and then complains that they’re “off limits” when she decides they’re under attack. We’ve seen it with the use of her son Trig–Palin put him on national TV at the 2008 Republican National Convention, and has occasionally accused liberals of wanting to kill him. We’ve seen it with Bristol Palin, whose pregnancy became a national story, and with Track Palin, whose military service Palin has referred to again and again. But it seems like Piper Palin’s star turn for Alaska Right to Life was the first political deployment of a Palin family member.

When I was in college, I studied Southern Long Fist Kung Fu for more than a year and my teacher told me something that I never forgot.

I’d like to think that the F. Scott Fitzgerald rip is intentional. Sadly, the rest of the column is a call for conservative bloggers to “do opposition research on the journalists endlessly running stories about Bristol Palin and Joe the Plumber,” as if Palin and Wurzelbacher were shrinking violets who did not embrace their statuses as public figures.

Ask yourself what we have to do here to follow the money. As Ron points out, if we can nail down the source of the money, the motive will be apparent. We may even discover the shadowy figure who first sent down the marching orders to “Get Palin!”

I found out about this through a random oddball former Michigan Republican Party Chairman Saul Anuzis, who tweeted about it.

McCain, who seemed in high spirits, seemed to spend extra time offering counsel to the two youngsters, whose underage pregnancy has eclipsed the fictional Juno McGuff and Paulie Bleeker in the popular imagination. But, this being real life and not reel life, their story was not accompanied by a kick-ass soundtrack featuring Kimya Dawson and Belle & Sebastian.

3. Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?

[Sarah Palin]: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.

Last year, a comprehensive federal study debunked the effectiveness of abstinence-only education programs. One can only wonder how many girls would find themselves in Bristol’s situation if Alaska, or the United States, enacted the policies favored by her mother.

The news clears up rumors that have been swirling on the Web — and in Anchorage bars — these last few days that Palin’s fifth child wasn’t her own, but her daughter’s. The theory was that Palin, a staunch pro-life conservative, faked giving birth to her 4-month-old son, Trig, to cover up the scandal. It seems the rumor, which we didn’t report here as there was no evidence to substantiate it, prompted the decision to release the news of the younger Palin’s pregnancy. One official told Reuters that the campaign was tired of the “mud-slinging and lies.”

Palin’s views on abortion have energized the evangelical wing of the Republican Party, who were wary of McCain’s stance on the issue, though he has said publicly he does not support abortion rights. Palin has told the media she doesn’t support elective abortions, even in the case of rape or incest. When she gave birth to her fifth child with Down syndrome, the pro-life movement considered her a true believer in the cause.

It will be interesting now to see how her support of her daughter will play with that group.