Iraq, Latest Bailout Beneficiary

Hard on the heels of its rescue of the major financial institutions, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the U.S. Treasury is now going to pay itself $3.5 trillion “to cover expenses related to the progress made since 2003 by the neighborhood outreach cleanup mission in Iraq,” a Bush administration spokesperson More…

Beijing Preps for Olympics

In an unprecedented loosening of the rules, in preparation for the XXIX Olympiad, Beijing has announced that Scrabble tiles that can be combined to form “T-I-B-E-T,” that had been confiscated last spring by roving patriotic gangs, will be returned to licensed owners of the spelling board game for the duration More…

Bush to Kick Off Tyrant Tour

“I’ll bring wine for the Myanmar junta, roses for Kim Jong Il — maybe a nice necktie for that little Iran guy, who doesn’t seem to own one.”

So spoke President George W. Bush in disclosing his plans for a flurry of casual drop-ins on Asian and Mideast strongmen. He More…

Yoo, Addington Handle ‘Torture Meddlers’

David Addington and John Yoo, two key architects of the U.S. interrogation policies for suspected Al Queda terrorist detainees in Iraq and at the Guantanamo Bay indoor reception and sports facility, waterboarded their Congressional critics Thursday with testimony that hung them by the thumbs with hoods pulled over their heads. More…

McCain: I’m No Bush Echo

An angry Sen. John McCain masterfully detached himself from the deeply unpopular President George W. Bush and his policies today during a press conference. It was packed with solid proof that McCain is his own man, with his own agenda, going into the November general election.

“I wear an entirely More…

McCain Announces Run for Presidency

Arizona Republican Sen. John McCain threw his hat into the

ring today when he told a cheering audience of amnesiacs that he will be a candidate for president in the November elections.

Reminded afterward by his valet, Sen. Joe I. Lieberman, that he had already secured the delegates needed for More…

The Perfect Ticket

Arizona Sen. John McCain’s decision to name himself as his Republican vice presidential running mate in the November elections is no longer being dismissed as just another senior moment.

“A McCain-McCain ticket would be a perfect fit,” McCain,71, explained during a breakdown of his Straight Talk Express bus near Tucumcari, More…

Notes in the Aftermath

Former President Bill Clinton, denied his request for supervision of the White House secretarial pool and the Democratic National Committee party-planning portfolio, is reportedly still angling for a post in the Obama administration that in no way conflicts with wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s, possible role. The ex-president has, in More…

When It Hurts to Laugh

Claiming that the 2008 Presidential primary candidates’ cavalcade of pratfalls, tantrums, distortions, stumbles, gaffes, nonsense, screw-ups and bald-faced lies is spiraling out of control and leaving the working funnyman ever further behind in manufacturing up-to-the-minute mockery, American political humorists are quitting their keyboards and refusing to satirize again unless the More…

Ayn Rand 101

John Allison, CEO of the banking giant BB&T, calls Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged,” “the best defense of capitalism ever written.” He says that Rand changed his life, and he’s working to ensure that the deceased author isn’t left out of the nation’s college curricula.

Since 2005, the BB&T Charitable More…