Fans Realize Obama Is Not Divine
Monday, August 04, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Disturbing new evidence indicates that Americans by the millions are failing to deify Sen. Barack Obama, the presumed Democratic presidential nominee, reflecting mounting fears among rabid early supporters that their charismatic Boy Messiah may not even be divine.
“It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way,” wept an Obama apostle. “Even in his native Chicago, you can’t find anybody building shrines or Baby Obama creches.”
Meanwhile, at the junior Illinois senator’s recent campaign stops, stampeding throngs of Obama fanatics have not been observed attempting to touch the hem of his garment. In Cleveland, church ceremonies to commemorate the anniversary of the child Obama’s descent to America from Hawaii appear not to be scheduled – hard on the heels of the disclosure that biblical scholars’ painstaking searches of both the Old and New Testaments reveal not a single reference linking Obama with any aspect of the Second Coming.
Campaign insiders close to Sen. John McCain, the likely Republican presidential nominee, while careful not to be seen as sacrilegious, nonetheless expressed obvious relief. “The guy may be no mere mortal,” granted one top McCain aide, “but all this shows he’s still not on a par with Our Lady of Fatima or Joan of Arc. In other words, his victory ain’t preordained.”
Obama’s cause is not being helped by his campaign managers’ refusal to disclose exactly when their candidate intends to perform his next miracle. For example, no confirmation or denial has been forthcoming of a rumored Obama-led “Walk On Water” fund-raising marathon from the Chicago lakeshore to Benton Harbor, across the lake in Michigan.
“I’d say we’ve been had,” groused a longtime Obama acolyte. “It’s becoming ominously clear that Barack Obama never had any intention of using the White House as a stepping stone.”
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”
18 Comments
Comment posted August 12, 2008 @ 11:57 am
Ok!
Lets think about this?
Do you really think when push comes to shove the American people will vote for McBush?
McCain is the man who voted to send our bravest to die looking for weapons of mass destruction that did not exist.
McCain is the man who does not know that 9-11 was caused by Osama Bin Laden not Sedam Hussein.
McCain is the man who does not know if the Sunnis or Sheits are our enemies!
McCain is the man who put our government on the China, Saudi Arabia credit card.
McCain is the man has adopted virtually the entire Bush agenda, often reversing long held positions and compromising supposed core principles. From Iraq, tax cuts for the wealthy, broken promises on the deficit to opposition to SCHIP, tax credits for health care, overturning Roe v. Wade and a right-wing Supreme Court, without question John McCain represents a third Bush term.
Get real!
Our only hope is Obama.
Comment posted August 12, 2008 @ 11:39 am
Lets see my choice is cranky old John McCain or that energetic young, smart black man Barack Obama?
McCain who does not know how to use a computer but is willing to learn if we elect him
Comment posted August 5, 2008 @ 11:57 am
Thanks Bruce. Seems some are missing the point. To them I suggest leaving the island enmasse and swimming for the promised land. It’s just over the horizon. You can make it, I know you can.
I met somebody who saw him walk on water once. And he cured my hiccups just by looking at me through those awesome sunglasses. He is the one. Marix IV “the Obamaing”
Comment posted August 5, 2008 @ 12:07 am
I guess the Kool-Aid is finally wearing off. We PUMAs abstained from drinking the Kool-Aid from the beginning. I prefer a nice Pinot Noir myself. But most of all, we can’t abide what the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee did on May 31, when they reallocated delegates and stole Clinton delegates to gift to Obama. The whole process was a mockery of the Democratic system.
We don’t want a President who walks on water; we want a President who knows how to lead and doesn’t flip-flop at every turn. Obama has no backbone–he has already backed down on FISA and now, offshore drilling. His word cannot be trusted. He’s a first class wimp.
PUMA!!
TheDenverGroup
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
I, like every other PUMA I’ve heard of, was a PUMA before PUMA existed. I was repulsed at the rail-roading or Sentator Clinton! While the polls continued to show she held a commanding lead over ANY GOP candidate, BO was continually flouted as the great hope and Senator Clinton was abused and told she stood no chance.
The facts ARE that Senator Clinton holds the mandate of the American People. It is SHE who is our candidate and can lead this country onto the road of recovery. As the scales fall from the eyes of Obama supporters his numbers drop, yet Senator Mccain’s numbers do not climb. That would be because Americans at large are become dissillusioned at a corrupt democratic process which has disenfranchised all it’s voters by lying and manipulation.
We, at PUMA work to ensure that Senator Clinton is allowed a FULL VOTE at the convention in August and we write our delegates and urge and IMPLORE them to side with the will of the people. So they took bribes from Senator Obama’s campaign…so what? Keep the money and vote against such under-handed politics as usual. Vote for the candidate who will truly bring us substantial changes. The one the republicans fear the most! Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton!
Join PUMA now, at Pumapac.org or JustSayNoDeal and let your ELECTED officials know you will not fall in line, regardless of their demands. You own your vote and will cast it as you see fit in November!
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 5:02 pm
Obama isn’t divine? You mean . . . you mean . . . he isn’t the 2nd coming of the Messiah? Hold the presses, avoid giving away all your posessions, don’t confess ALL your sins. We’ve been had? Sort of like Jim Jones? The sun shall never rise again . . . the tides will stop . . . the mountains will crumble. Oh well. . .
Is it too late to get Hillary?
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
to bmw60…your comments speak the truth so eloquently for so many of us…We can’t be Democrats voting ‘party’ any longer, this current DNC proved that loud and clear! They’ve crossed a line, gone too far, to expect blind loyalty. Hillary is obviously the better candidate by far, and trying to coronate Obama instead, is very suspect indeed, it’s like a bad joke. PUMAs have to speak out, it’s the democratic way…REAL DEMOCRATS protect our Country first!
If the situation were not so serious, and dangerous…it would actually be funny!
Obama supporters will be floating down from the clouds, he’s not doing a good job of keeping them up there any longer. His hotair is now lukewarm!
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 2:07 pm
Voters within the Democfratic party could have told you that. The number of PUMA’S are grwoing every day. He has unified people, but it has been against him. The DNC will not force their SELECTED candidate down our throats. Voters elect the candidate.
PUMA
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
I knew he wasn’t divine a LONG TIME ago… I must admit that I was not a Hillary Clinton supporter from the start
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 9:00 am
I knew he wasn't divine a LONG TIME ago… I must admit that I was not a Hillary Clinton supporter from the start
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 9:07 am
Voters within the Democfratic party could have told you that. The number of PUMA'S are grwoing every day. He has unified people, but it has been against him. The DNC will not force their SELECTED candidate down our throats. Voters elect the candidate.
PUMA
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 9:30 am
to bmw60…your comments speak the truth so eloquently for so many of us…We can't be Democrats voting 'party' any longer, this current DNC proved that loud and clear! They've crossed a line, gone too far, to expect blind loyalty. Hillary is obviously the better candidate by far, and trying to coronate Obama instead, is very suspect indeed, it's like a bad joke. PUMAs have to speak out, it's the democratic way…REAL DEMOCRATS protect our Country first!
If the situation were not so serious, and dangerous…it would actually be funny!
Obama supporters will be floating down from the clouds, he's not doing a good job of keeping them up there any longer. His hotair is now lukewarm!
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 12:02 pm
Obama isn't divine? You mean . . . you mean . . . he isn't the 2nd coming of the Messiah? Hold the presses, avoid giving away all your posessions, don't confess ALL your sins. We've been had? Sort of like Jim Jones? The sun shall never rise again . . . the tides will stop . . . the mountains will crumble. Oh well. . .
Is it too late to get Hillary?
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
I, like every other PUMA I've heard of, was a PUMA before PUMA existed. I was repulsed at the rail-roading or Sentator Clinton! While the polls continued to show she held a commanding lead over ANY GOP candidate, BO was continually flouted as the great hope and Senator Clinton was abused and told she stood no chance.
The facts ARE that Senator Clinton holds the mandate of the American People. It is SHE who is our candidate and can lead this country onto the road of recovery. As the scales fall from the eyes of Obama supporters his numbers drop, yet Senator Mccain's numbers do not climb. That would be because Americans at large are become dissillusioned at a corrupt democratic process which has disenfranchised all it's voters by lying and manipulation.
We, at PUMA work to ensure that Senator Clinton is allowed a FULL VOTE at the convention in August and we write our delegates and urge and IMPLORE them to side with the will of the people. So they took bribes from Senator Obama's campaign…so what? Keep the money and vote against such under-handed politics as usual. Vote for the candidate who will truly bring us substantial changes. The one the republicans fear the most! Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton!
Join PUMA now, at Pumapac.org or JustSayNoDeal and let your ELECTED officials know you will not fall in line, regardless of their demands. You own your vote and will cast it as you see fit in November!
Comment posted August 4, 2008 @ 7:07 pm
I guess the Kool-Aid is finally wearing off. We PUMAs abstained from drinking the Kool-Aid from the beginning. I prefer a nice Pinot Noir myself. But most of all, we can't abide what the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee did on May 31, when they reallocated delegates and stole Clinton delegates to gift to Obama. The whole process was a mockery of the Democratic system.
We don't want a President who walks on water; we want a President who knows how to lead and doesn't flip-flop at every turn. Obama has no backbone–he has already backed down on FISA and now, offshore drilling. His word cannot be trusted. He's a first class wimp.
PUMA!!
TheDenverGroup
Comment posted August 5, 2008 @ 6:57 am
Thanks Bruce. Seems some are missing the point. To them I suggest leaving the island enmasse and swimming for the promised land. It's just over the horizon. You can make it, I know you can.
I met somebody who saw him walk on water once. And he cured my hiccups just by looking at me through those awesome sunglasses. He is the one. Marix IV “the Obamaing”
Comment posted August 12, 2008 @ 6:39 am
Lets see my choice is cranky old John McCain or that energetic young, smart black man Barack Obama?
McCain who does not know how to use a computer but is willing to learn if we elect him
Comment posted August 12, 2008 @ 6:57 am
Ok!
Lets think about this?
Do you really think when push comes to shove the American people will vote for McBush?
McCain is the man who voted to send our bravest to die looking for weapons of mass destruction that did not exist.
McCain is the man who does not know that 9-11 was caused by Osama Bin Laden not Sedam Hussein.
McCain is the man who does not know if the Sunnis or Sheits are our enemies!
McCain is the man who put our government on the China, Saudi Arabia credit card.
McCain is the man has adopted virtually the entire Bush agenda, often reversing long held positions and compromising supposed core principles. From Iraq, tax cuts for the wealthy, broken promises on the deficit to opposition to SCHIP, tax credits for health care, overturning Roe v. Wade and a right-wing Supreme Court, without question John McCain represents a third Bush term.
Get real!
Our only hope is Obama.
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