Al Qaeda Uses Birds to Down Civilian Airliner

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Thursday, January 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm

In the second major domestic terrorist attack to take place during the Bush administration’s eight-year tenure, the Al Qaeda terrorist network today deployed a team of birds to down a US Airways jet in New York City’s Hudson River. Few injuries appear to have resulted from the onslaught of aviofascism, but as an emergency measure, the Bush administration is reportedly reviewing plans for rounding up Canada geese for pre-deportation detention. It is unknown whether habeas protections extend to the birds, and lawyers for the ACLU have already filed class-action suits challenging the detentions. The Obama transition has declined to comment, stating that there can only be one administration at a time, but has promised a thorough review of administration measures after it takes office Tuesday.

The Bush administration, in its closing statements before leaving office, had been contending that it should be judged by the fact that only 3000 Americans died from terrorism on American soil on its watch. Senior administration officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that no one could have predicted birds would be used as an instrument of terrorism. Yet a CIA analytic product, ‘Birds Determined To Fly Around Aircraft,’ had been briefed to President Bush on Aug. 6 of last year. The White House blasted the CIA for not providing greater specificity.

There is not yet any word from Osama bin Laden, believed to have reconstituted a safe haven in Pakistan’s tribal areas, on the attack, nor any claims of responsibility from known aviofascist groups.

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Comments

7 Comments

ajm8127
Comment posted January 15, 2009 @ 3:31 pm

I thought Bruce McCall was the humorist.


Kris
Comment posted January 15, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

are you some type of psycho just released from ward? you dumb f…………..k


Joe
Comment posted January 15, 2009 @ 4:15 pm

You totally missed the point!! There are stories of heroes rescuing others; instead you make stupid jokes. But then again we've elected a comedian as senator of Minnesota. Hope he takes his job more seriously.


nope
Comment posted January 15, 2009 @ 6:13 pm

I thought humor was supposed to be funny.


DanV
Comment posted January 15, 2009 @ 10:37 pm

A bit sick, but well done. You should've gotten Bruce McCall to illustrate it. I wouldn't show it to Bush, though. He'd believe it. Is it really only 4 more days?

BTW: Were the birds Park Avenue or homeless Central Park birds? Makes a difference.


jerrychristian2006
Comment posted January 16, 2009 @ 8:25 am

It's just too darn bad the the 3000 innocent civilians killed during 9/11 didn't include a huge majority of the Bush hating press. I'm certainly glad you think the death of 3000 American citizens is a joke! You're a sicko! I have made it a goal of my life never to read any more of your garbage in this lifetime.


jerrychristian2006
Comment posted January 16, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

It's just too darn bad the the 3000 innocent civilians killed during 9/11 didn't include a huge majority of the Bush hating press. I'm certainly glad you think the death of 3000 American citizens is a joke! You're a sicko! I have made it a goal of my life never to read any more of your garbage in this lifetime.


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