Scrabble Players Honor Blagojevich

(Flickr Creative Commons, Ally Rose)

Allegedly corrupt Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is being feted as the Scrabble Club of America and Guam’s Man of the Year “for focusing the world’s spotlight on randomly scrambled letters as a limitless source of wholesome fun.”

Informed of this rare honor, the shady Chicago politico said “(Deleted) me! That’s the (deleted) most (deleted) thing I ever heard of. Does it come with any (deleted) money?”

The Scrabble Club plans to honor Blagojevich at a banquet to be held “between the time he’s impeached and the time when he goes to jail.” But the governor has already requested that his award -– oversized silver Scrabble tilesspelling out his name — be left in a plain brown bag on the back doorstep of his Chicago home after dark, along with other, unidentified nightly deliveries.

The club’s previous Man of the Year honorees have included imprisoned Chicago Congressman Dan Rostenkowski, imprisoned wheeler-dealer businessman Dennis Kozlowski and imprisoned Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadzic.

“Gov. Blagojevich is a natural fit with these notorious mouthfuls,” said a Scrabble Club press release. “And like them, he will receive a complimentary deluxe Scrabble game to help shorten those long hours in prison while building his vocabulary and making new friends.”

Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”