McCain Defends Campaign Lies as Test of Dems’ Intelligence
Tuesday, October 28, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Sen. John McCain, the Republican presidential nominee, today accused his opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, and the entire Democratic Party of being “too stupid to govern America,” citing as proof their falling for the many outrageous lies deliberately planted in his and running mate Sarah Palin’s public utterances to test their intellectual acuity.
“Of course that one [Obama] doesn’t pal around with terrorists,” McCain explained. “Of course, he isn’t a Muslim or Muslim sympathizer. Of course, his tax plan doesn’t punish the middle class. Of course he isn’t a socialist. Those were just booby-traps we set to see if they were smart enough to tell the difference between the truth and a whopper. And over and over again, they’ve flunked this vital test of savvy. They’re so dumb they think we meant it!”
McCain’s accusations marked yet another sharp strategic turn in his PresidMential campaign, from basing much of his argument on dubious claims about Obama’s patriotism and loyalties to revealing them as mere ploys.
“Foxy adversaries on the world scene constantly lie to American officials,” McCain said, “and our nation’s future depends on its leaders’ ability to quickly detect such dangerous falsehoods. My opponent clearly can’t tell a fib from a bomb-throwing underground Chicago terrorist — whereas Gov. Palin and I clearly know more about lying than anybody.”
Asked by a reporter if his amazing revelations were true, the veteran Arizona politico hesitated until close adviser, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.), whispered in his ear. “Maybe you should ask William Ayers,” McCain finally replied. Asked in another reporter’s follow-up what he meant, McCain answered with more questions: “Has anybody ever actually seen that one’s alleged Harvard degree? When he was living in Kenya, did he fraternize with Cuban troops in nearby Angola? Is it better for America that Sarah Palin’s wardrobe cost $150,000, or that, as confidential anonymous sources tell me, Michelle Obama, a few years ago, thought about calling Winona Ryder in Hollywood to ask if she could shoplift a mink coat while she was at it?”
Reached at her hotel suite in Dubuque, Iowa, for comment, Palin said, “Jeepers creepers! I should have run this year instead of waiting for 2012!”
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”
21 Comments
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 11:28 am
what an ass–this in the John McCain I supported in 2000 and this is not the person I want to have sitting with his finger over the launch button. VERY disappointing, petty, and angry little man–maybe he always was but covered it up better.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 11:44 am
Whether the above is satire or not–a very good representation of why the Republican party and John McCain left me–
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 11:47 am
“…Gov. Palin and I clearly know more about lying than anybody.”
No kidding. They've tried to use character assasination instead of addressing the issues affecting Americans, and now that they've painted themselves into a corner, claim that it's “just a test”. Childish. Is this how they plan to run the country? I wonder if this is how our foreign policy “strategy” is going to be too? Why *should* anyone vote for them? Flawed, short-sighted strategies from the White House… sound familiar?
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 11:55 am
A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat but her father was a rather staunch Republican.
One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.
She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying.
He asked, “How is your friend Mary.” She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus, went to all the parties all the time. Why she often didn't show up for classes because she was hung over.
Dad then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.
The daughter angrily fired back, “That wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and Mary has done nothing”.
The father slowly smiled and said, “Welcome to the Republican Party”.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 11:58 am
Yery funny. Even though it is satire, it is a good illustration of how the Republicans started with one lie, then had to lie to cover up those lies, and then when that didn't work they had to start new lies to detract attention from the older, failing lies, and so on and so forth until BOOM! Palinized.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:01 pm
Oh, if only the economy had an unlimited supply of money for those that work hard enough for it, like schools that have enough A's to go around for those that work for it. Alas it doesn't, so your analogy does not work.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:02 pm
But what about Susan, the young lady's best friend who couldn't even afford to go to college and was stuck in a deadend minimum wage paying job?
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
Are you saying that Republicans have earned their place in society? I say that America was founded by brutalizing the indigenous peoples, stealing their land, and enslaving Africans to do the work. The entire white American empire was grown on the backs of colored people. How dare you say “we earned it.” The McCain/Bush tax scheme benefits those who have always had money. I.e, the white slave owners. If you are truly a follower of Christ, you would have no problem with socialism. Would you call a Nun a socialist? By definition, she is…
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:16 pm
THAT IS SUCH A BAD ANALOGY…PEOPLE WORK FOR MANY SMALL COMPANIES AND CAN NOT EVEN GET HEALTH CARE OR A GOOD PAY EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANIES ARE MAKING SO MUCH MONEY…HAD YOU EVER SINCE YOURSELF NO BEING ABLE TO AFFORD HEALTH CARE OR SENT YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL OR HAVING TO TAKE DAYS OFF BECAUSE YOU CANNOT PAY FOR YOUR TRANSPORTATION TO WORK…MAN LOOK OUTSIDE YOUR MEANS…PERHAPS YOU WOULD HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION AND CARE FOR HUMANITY.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
But its the republicans giving the hard eraned money by the poor class to the wealthy lazy class!! That is what is really going on!
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
Yes McCain, You, the Republican Party and Palin certainly and clearly do know more about lying than anybody!
Eight years(100 years) of republican lies is way more than enough!
Hey, Repulicans, Where in the world is Osadin Bin Ladin? Why he's being protected by his good buddy Bush the traitor, thats where!
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Your right, Drew. Susan should simply be given a 3.0 and not be treated unfairly because she is a victim of a society where everyone is not equal. Additionally, taxpayers who are “rich” should be taxed and their money given to Susan to supplement her income in that “deadend” minimum wage job. Finally, Susan should be allowed to live in one room of your house or apartment (as the case may be) because it's only fair.
Comment posted October 28, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
Very funny Bruce, if that's your real name. These type of “humorous” articles will not be allowed under the new Obama administration. Everyone wil be serious and focused toward achieving redistribution of wealth. Those who do not comply will be interred in re-education camps. I'm voting for Obama because I have little ability but a great deal of need. Hooray for out side!!
Comment posted October 29, 2008 @ 5:57 am
Republicans try to paint Barack Obama as someone to fear, someone not ready. Yet respected Spiritual leaders from different faiths and persuasions have come together as a group to write a letter and endorse Barack Obama as a true leader for these tumultuous times.
“As spiritual leaders signing this letter we are stepping forward to say: “We can make a difference” As our spiritual practice empties, opens and strengthens us, we are naturally moved to engage in the world with compassion, equanimity, and the dedication to live our values. We know many of you are already both concerned and involved in this year's Presidential election. Yet, in the past weeks, many of us have heard friends in the spiritual community expressing ambivalence about voting. When asked why they wouldn't vote we heard things like: “It doesn't make any difference”; “I'm more interested in spiritual practice than politics”.
This election, we have an opportunity to create a paradigm shift in the nature of politics. Senator McCain has voted with President Bush over 90% of the time leading to policies that have increased violence the world, furthered environmental destruction, tried to force religious views on the country, and shown a staggering lack of compassion for those most in need.
Play a role in bringing peace and justice back to the planet by voting for Barack Obama.
If you allow yourself to envision the world as it could be rather than the world as it is, what would it look like? And more importantly, what would you be willing to do to help create that world?
************************************************************
Deepak Chopra, Jack Kornfield, Lama Surya Das. Jean Houston, Jack Kornfield, Reggie Ray, Reb Zalman Shachter-Shalomi, Seane Corn, Cyndi Lee, Jack Canfield, Shiva Rea, Pema Chödrön, Marianne Williamson, Barbara De Angelis, Roshi Joan Halifax, Joan Borysenko, Krishna Das, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Stephan Rechtschaffen, Judith Ansara Gass, Robert Gass — and more every day!
http://www.yogisandmeditatorsforobam…
Americans all accross this country realize we need fundamental change, radical change, if we are to survive and thrive as a country. Barack Obama has brought many people together, such as Republicans who have never voted for Democrats, Newspapers who usually endorse Republicans, Generals, world leaders and a whole host of people, yound and old, gay and straight, and of all racial persuasions who realize that we have an opportunity in this great leader to fundamentally bring about positive and holistic change, not jusst for America but the world. Barack Obama has shown us through his words, actions and deeds, that we do not have to run a campaign through lies, deceit and deceptions. That you do not have to tear an opponent down or dislike him because he disagrees with you. He has elevated this political areana and ourselves, that we can be better and do better. He offers hope and inspiration, something which has been lacking in American culture for awhile. He asks us to overcome our differences and to unite for a common cause, and for the good of this nation. He asks to choose love over hate, unity over diversity, and sharing over greed.
Comment posted October 31, 2008 @ 10:48 pm
OMG, Obama is not a terrorist…DUH!!!!!!!!!!!? I bet that crazy McCain lady's letter's were just a mere hoax. Too bad for her.
Comment posted November 1, 2008 @ 9:22 pm
OH, so the Sarah Palin as the vice presidential pick was a joke. Oh MY GOD, you really had me there!
Good one.
Comment posted November 4, 2008 @ 6:24 am
Is Sen McCain so febble minded that Sen Joe Liberman has to stand by to tell him what to answer?? Gee whiz give me a break. Glad this whole show will be over by Wed. I will be greateful if Sen Obama wins by a country mile as well!!!
Comment posted November 4, 2008 @ 2:24 pm
Is Sen McCain so febble minded that Sen Joe Liberman has to stand by to tell him what to answer?? Gee whiz give me a break. Glad this whole show will be over by Wed. I will be greateful if Sen Obama wins by a country mile as well!!!
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