rssPalin’s Post-Election Plans
Wednesday, November 05, 2008 at 12:50 pm
- 11 Comments
Gov. Sarah Palin (WDCpix)
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was more than prepared should terrorists and their sympathizers quit palling around long enough to throw the coming presidential election a curve and cheat her out of the vice presidency. She has already crafted a detailed plan for her future.
Step One is to resign as governor in favor of her husband, Todd, appointed by unanimous vote of the State Legislature after “a good old-fashioned Alaska-style blackmail blitz” using secret tape recordings, spy photos and paid stool-pigeon testimony.
“Todd and the whole gang will all be living rent-free in the governor’s mansion with room service,” Palin revealed, “and they have all volunteered to serve in at least two no-show jobs apiece, to help get Alaska’s employment figures way up there.”
Palin herself will be moving to the Lower 48 “to either cash in or cash out — I didn’t go to some elite school, so I’m not sure which. I do know I’ll be doing some teaching at either Harvard or Bob Jones University. It’s a toss-up right now between the School of International Law on one hand and Home Economics 101 on the other.”
The perky, crack moose shot also revealed that she is thinking seriously, “or as seriously as a gal like me can,” about establishing a chain of “Sarah Palin’s Shoot ‘n’ Sizzle” firing ranges under tanning lamps, located atop Wal-Mart stores nationwide.
Palin claims to be close to signing with a major publisher for her memoir, “to be written by a famous book author who has a real gift of gab. He says my life reads like a fairy tale and that I play a leading role in it from start to finish.”
On the agenda as well will be the Sarah Palin Foundation, a for-profit think tank with a mandate to think about how to secure a steady flow of cash contributions and free gasoline from Big Oil for ex-Alaskan governors while she is out of political office.
Meanwhile, Palin said that plans to borrow the Alaska state police as her personal security detail would be finalized “as soon as we can root out certain rotten apples.”
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”
11 Comments
Comment posted November 5, 2008 @ 11:20 pm
That was a funny post. Given your appreciation for Palin's contribution to humor, you should check out this hilarious youtube video called the Blame Game : Et tu, Palin? Palin 2012 says it all, in her own words!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrUN8oldj9o
LMAO!!! Ye Olde Maverick gotta stiletto heel in the back by playing with the she-devil. Republicannibalism at its best. She went out to field dress a donkey and fleeced an elephant. The humbled McCain tried to salvage the remaining dignity he had left and the crowd during his acceptance speech couldn't stop booing. It's hard to turn off the hate machine once it reaches full-throttle. When they started in with their canned Republican rally cheers, guess who smirking and winking? Et tu, Palin? Ha ha.
Comment posted November 8, 2008 @ 9:22 am
Love this. I know this is intended to be tongue and check but there is more truth here then fiction
Comment posted November 10, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
I think it's Todd this one who steers and moves the threads of the marionette
Comment posted November 10, 2008 @ 9:47 pm
I think it's Todd this one who steers and moves the threads of the marionette
Comment posted July 4, 2009 @ 4:07 am
oppositionists fear sarah palin so much…they would resort to garbage imaginations to destroy her! but they won't get their satisfactions..instead they'll get the KARMA.
Comment posted July 4, 2009 @ 4:19 am
think, meditate..are you honestly saying those words? i'll pray for your enlightenment.
Comment posted July 4, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
just imagine that you had a real life, spectator; scary , huh; you better stay in today; you might catch something; like an original thought; watch Oprah; she'll cheer you up;
Comment posted June 8, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
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